Mmmm... Sandwich.

You don't need to know me or who I am and what I do but since you're here you may as well read this: I write for a living and also, for fun. Coincidently; ever since I started getting paid for the shit I wrote, I stopped having fun doing it. So yes, I did succumb and sell my writing prowess (or, arguably, lack of) and soul to the devil (i.e. Television, Radio and Adverts) But having fun doesn’t pay the bills. Sadly working does. (My fondness for brackets should be evident by this point, if not I’ll toss in a few more later on.) I’m 22 years old, I live in a city that the government wishes I’d call Mumbai but I prefer the old English name for it, i.e. Bombay. Yes, I live in India and no ‘Indian’ is not my first language. I enjoy short walks, long drives, and a drink or two, or three, or fourteen every now and then, but then again who doesn’t?

Before I carry on with this whole blogging deal, let me tell you a quick and fun story (Remember those words in bold, I plan on having fun with them a little later on & also… I put them in bold and shit, which means nothing but if you look deep [and I mean really, {I just wanted to add another bracket in here and say, HOLY SHIT! BRACKETCEPTION!} really fucking deep] into it you'll find that I take the extra effort to please you sometimes) about how this whole thing came about. A couple of days ago I had back to back job interviews. Well, to be honest, they weren’t really job interviews, they were more like meet and greets for a couple of television shows. I like the freedom of freelance because lets face it… I’m the laziest son of a bitch the world has to offer. So both meetings went down. Nothing out of the ordinary; there were the few thousand questions that were as useful as a bowl of warm turds freshly squeezed out of a porcupines ass. A few tidbits of me peacocking (Peacocking is an actual fucking term, don’t you dare imply that I created it!) about the crap I’ve achieved and the sweet fuckall I’ve done to bring me to this point. After hours of wasting time beating around the bush they eventually did offer me the job, but they asked whether or not I blogged. When I said that I didn’t they were taken aback as though it was expected of me. So on my way to the other work meeting I thought about it for a while and thought to myself… Holy mother of fuck I’m starving! It wasn’t until I was halfway through the peacocking at the next interview did I realize that this big interviewer dude is having multiple orgasms of the intellectual kind. In case you couldn’t figure out what that meant: His brain was jizzing. Little did I know that I was about to dread the mans next question. “Do you blog?”

What is it with people and blogs? There’s a reason people can’t hear my thoughts all the time, if they could they’d think I was a fucking nut job!

So on my way home, job contracts in hand, I pondered upon the possibility of starting a blog and thought to myself, why am I still fucking hungry?

A while before all this went down I took off on a friend of a friend of a friend because she said that she was a writer and when I asked her what she had written she replied with something that blew my fucking mind! “Oh, I have a blog.”

Immediately I thought to myself, are you fucking shitting me? Lets face it; bloggers are to the world of writing as Dentists are to the world of Doctors. Just as Dentists aren’t really doctors, bloggers aren’t really writers.

Anyway, here I am… a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Blogging. Ick! Could you imagine if one day I’d have to introduce myself as a blogger? The horror!

Hi I’m Shrey. I’m 22 years old, I sleep all day and stay up all night and I’m a blogger for a living.

I’m my biggest fan and if that were introduced to me, I would definitely not hit that.

So maybe that story wasn’t as quick and as fun as I thought it would be. (See why you needed to remember the part I put in bold? I told you it’d pay off!)  But that’s how I ended up here. So if you enjoy reading the shit that my brain spews, then please do come back for periodic updates and what not. If that sounded like I was begging I don’t give a tiny-little-white-lab-rats ass. I plan on posting some short stories and day-to-day happenings that I expect you to not give the slightest fuck about. One day I will be a famous for this page and that is the day that I will rue for all eternity and eternities to come post that eternity.

PS: I’m still fucking hungry!

Oh… and here are a few more brackets, as promised. 

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