Yes, you read right! The wait is finally over. All you blog hungry people are in for a treat because I've decided to start this thing up again! (Suspiciously good timing for that because I've sent my blog link out to a few people so as to impress them with my gift of the gab)
The shatterer of dreams, the bringer of rain... Oh wait, that was Spartacus. Let's try that again...
The doom of evil, the mother of dragons! No, that was Khaleesi.
The man they call Ludacris...
Okay screw it. I'm just going to say it the way it is. I'm back with a brand new sense of humor, (FALSE) an amazing new grasp on The English Language, (FALSE) and a new, brighter, more positive outlook on life (ABSOLUTE FALSEHOOD)
Since I have made a return to the kingdom of blogville, I plan on making this thing look a lot nicer and what not, thus I will not have adequate time to focus on the content of said blog, but those are just minor details. Nobody really cares about that.
For those of you that were keeping tabs on Blooperheroes, that little venture I did with a comic book style online novel... Everyone dies in the end.
.
..
...
Of course I'm only kidding. The story will be picked up at some point in my existence, but until then there's going to be a lot of random blog stuff that most people will not like. Don't worry, I will not be here ranting about the things I have eaten and what I may or may not be doing with my life at this time: meaningless information or otherwise. Which reminds me it has been 48 hours since my last shower. Just thought you'd need to know that.
Have you ever smelled so bad that you can't stand your own stench? Yes? You filthy bastard. I've never experienced that. Even if I smell bad (Which I never do because I have two showers each time I shower. One normal shower and the next a deodorant and cologne shower;) I quite enjoy how I smell and when I don't smell bad, boys... Hang on to your women and women hang on to your knickers...
Now then, down to serious business... The last time I had put something up on this blog was about this time last year, which is sad for two reasons - Firstly, I had received a phenomenal response from all you, I would say beautiful, people, but I wont. Secondly, I was starting to actually enjoy people asking for more.
If you're looking for a FAQ, I'll give you a FAQ, I'll give you the best damn FAQ you've ever had... FAQ isn't slang for a commonly used swear word; but is, in fact, short for Frequently Asked Questions. Here are the answers to those questions:
Q1) Why did you stop writing the blog? I was really really into it, your flair for the literal was unmatched and your wit, oof! So sharp it could make you bleed. I need to know, why?
A: Well, Firstly thanks for your kind words. I started the blog in a shameless and pitiful attempt to make some money, which I did not thanks to my lack of perseverance; and when I found out I would only be eligible to do so if my blog was at least a year old and active for those 12 months. Being the fickle fool I am I decided to put this thing on hold until I decided the time was right. The time, I feel, is now right.
Q2) What do you plan on changing in the event that you do come back?
A: Apart from the look and feel of the place, I'm not sure yet but when I decide, you'll know.
Q3) Will we have more stories like Blooperheroes?
A: I suppose there is a possibility of that happening, yes.
Q4) Will you please write a short series of bedtime stories next? Pretty please?
A: Only because you asked so politely... Yes. Yes I will.
Q5) Are you as fun and as amazing in person as you are on this blog?
A: Awww, you're too kind. I'm afraid I'm not worthy of such praise. But the answer is yes. I am this amazing all day. It's hard being me sometimes.
Q6) Do you like ketchup with fries?
A: I do, but I prefer to eat them without ketchup. Thanks for asking.
That wraps up the FAQs and pretty much sums up my intentions with this blog for the coming weeks.... If you have any other questions you'd like me to answer then you can post them in the comments below or you can email them to me on iDontGiveaFAQ@gmail.com, alternatively you can call our toll free helpline - 1 800 FAQU2
Thanks for your time, and happy reading!
The shatterer of dreams, the bringer of rain... Oh wait, that was Spartacus. Let's try that again...
The doom of evil, the mother of dragons! No, that was Khaleesi.
The man they call Ludacris...
Okay screw it. I'm just going to say it the way it is. I'm back with a brand new sense of humor, (FALSE) an amazing new grasp on The English Language, (FALSE) and a new, brighter, more positive outlook on life (ABSOLUTE FALSEHOOD)
Since I have made a return to the kingdom of blogville, I plan on making this thing look a lot nicer and what not, thus I will not have adequate time to focus on the content of said blog, but those are just minor details. Nobody really cares about that.
For those of you that were keeping tabs on Blooperheroes, that little venture I did with a comic book style online novel... Everyone dies in the end.
.
..
...
Of course I'm only kidding. The story will be picked up at some point in my existence, but until then there's going to be a lot of random blog stuff that most people will not like. Don't worry, I will not be here ranting about the things I have eaten and what I may or may not be doing with my life at this time: meaningless information or otherwise. Which reminds me it has been 48 hours since my last shower. Just thought you'd need to know that.
Have you ever smelled so bad that you can't stand your own stench? Yes? You filthy bastard. I've never experienced that. Even if I smell bad (Which I never do because I have two showers each time I shower. One normal shower and the next a deodorant and cologne shower;) I quite enjoy how I smell and when I don't smell bad, boys... Hang on to your women and women hang on to your knickers...
Now then, down to serious business... The last time I had put something up on this blog was about this time last year, which is sad for two reasons - Firstly, I had received a phenomenal response from all you, I would say beautiful, people, but I wont. Secondly, I was starting to actually enjoy people asking for more.
If you're looking for a FAQ, I'll give you a FAQ, I'll give you the best damn FAQ you've ever had... FAQ isn't slang for a commonly used swear word; but is, in fact, short for Frequently Asked Questions. Here are the answers to those questions:
Q1) Why did you stop writing the blog? I was really really into it, your flair for the literal was unmatched and your wit, oof! So sharp it could make you bleed. I need to know, why?
A: Well, Firstly thanks for your kind words. I started the blog in a shameless and pitiful attempt to make some money, which I did not thanks to my lack of perseverance; and when I found out I would only be eligible to do so if my blog was at least a year old and active for those 12 months. Being the fickle fool I am I decided to put this thing on hold until I decided the time was right. The time, I feel, is now right.
Q2) What do you plan on changing in the event that you do come back?
A: Apart from the look and feel of the place, I'm not sure yet but when I decide, you'll know.
Q3) Will we have more stories like Blooperheroes?
A: I suppose there is a possibility of that happening, yes.
Q4) Will you please write a short series of bedtime stories next? Pretty please?
A: Only because you asked so politely... Yes. Yes I will.
Q5) Are you as fun and as amazing in person as you are on this blog?
A: Awww, you're too kind. I'm afraid I'm not worthy of such praise. But the answer is yes. I am this amazing all day. It's hard being me sometimes.
Q6) Do you like ketchup with fries?
A: I do, but I prefer to eat them without ketchup. Thanks for asking.
That wraps up the FAQs and pretty much sums up my intentions with this blog for the coming weeks.... If you have any other questions you'd like me to answer then you can post them in the comments below or you can email them to me on iDontGiveaFAQ@gmail.com, alternatively you can call our toll free helpline - 1 800 FAQU2
Thanks for your time, and happy reading!
Without ketchup :) what a skoda! / Nova xD
ReplyDeleteFries are better that way, honestly! :D
ReplyDelete